So I didn't pass again. I have to admit I felt a bit like a loser, but at least I didn't go out like a loser. I really gave them a piece of my mind.
I told them how I really felt.
Like they judge based on opinion.
The school doesn't really teach well.
I have learned more stuff from books.
And I let them know that other people passed with stuff worse than mine.
I felt really good about doing it too. And I am glad I did it. I am not sure that I am going continue though...for a while I have been feeling like I am just not good enough and really I am getting pissed. I hate a quiter but I just may quit.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Magical land of 'career'
There is a magical event of which I though before was only a myth in which a poor design student such as my myself, visits a Fedex Kinkos with hope of printing out low quality digital art for an unnamed project. When suddenly they are magically approached by a person of business whom is looking for a designer to do work for them, next then they know they are carried off into the land of "career" and they leave all the "working for bad company @ low wages" problems behind them. Until today I thought this was a myth.
Alas it apparently isn't. I met the creative director for a hair coloring corportation, and she loved my work. Hopefully this will carry me into the land of "career".
Alas it apparently isn't. I met the creative director for a hair coloring corportation, and she loved my work. Hopefully this will carry me into the land of "career".
Saturday, November 8, 2008
portfolio preview...again!
The time is upon me...yes its time to go through the horrid portfolio preview, again. Hopefully this time I will make it.
So far I have 3 new projects that I am sure will blow them away. Especially since I didn't pass with 6 last quarter with 3 new good projects I am sure I will make it. I revised the catcher in the rye, added blue beat studio. And I will also be adding my identity system and a few webpages from my current "Grasp Life" AIDS foundation project, and I am thinking of adding in the work from my current Ad project "Support Brothels" as well but I am concerned about the images, since I dont exactly own them...oh if only some illustrator was willing to draw me some vintage pin-ups.
support brothels: poster/flyer design
grasp life
So far I have 3 new projects that I am sure will blow them away. Especially since I didn't pass with 6 last quarter with 3 new good projects I am sure I will make it. I revised the catcher in the rye, added blue beat studio. And I will also be adding my identity system and a few webpages from my current "Grasp Life" AIDS foundation project, and I am thinking of adding in the work from my current Ad project "Support Brothels" as well but I am concerned about the images, since I dont exactly own them...oh if only some illustrator was willing to draw me some vintage pin-ups.
support brothels: poster/flyer design
grasp life
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Internship part 5
So I got a call back from my interviewer, from 3 weeks ago.
No I didn't get the internship, but I had figured that out already. He gave me a few pointers about how to interview, he advised me to bring my portfolio, This I should have done, but really I was out of cash, and way too broke to print out new stuff....truth be told I'm still outta cash.
He did make me feel a lot better about it though, it definitely made up for portfolio preview, and all those weeks of worthlessness that came from it. I hate preview for that one reason. They really tear into you, I can understand when really you have a lot to work on, but its like they really enjoy making you feel bad. Even the people who passed said the same thing. "they really ripped into me" And I know I have had plenty of teachers who will tell you a design is not working, or the design is weak and when I ask why and then they can't tell me why. When you do that it makes it look like you A. Don't know what your talking about and B. are being opinionated. So I think this will be another goal for me in the future. The Art Institutes have a lot of issues as far as the teaching curriculum.
Teachers are opinionated.
Student work looks the same.
No one is really being creative anymore.
there needs to be a new standard.
I intend to help.
No I didn't get the internship, but I had figured that out already. He gave me a few pointers about how to interview, he advised me to bring my portfolio, This I should have done, but really I was out of cash, and way too broke to print out new stuff....truth be told I'm still outta cash.
He did make me feel a lot better about it though, it definitely made up for portfolio preview, and all those weeks of worthlessness that came from it. I hate preview for that one reason. They really tear into you, I can understand when really you have a lot to work on, but its like they really enjoy making you feel bad. Even the people who passed said the same thing. "they really ripped into me" And I know I have had plenty of teachers who will tell you a design is not working, or the design is weak and when I ask why and then they can't tell me why. When you do that it makes it look like you A. Don't know what your talking about and B. are being opinionated. So I think this will be another goal for me in the future. The Art Institutes have a lot of issues as far as the teaching curriculum.
Teachers are opinionated.
Student work looks the same.
No one is really being creative anymore.
there needs to be a new standard.
I intend to help.
Monday, October 20, 2008
"Look, the word designer comes right off!"
I will never forget his speech during orientation. I can't remember his name, or even his face, but what he said stuck with me all these years. He told us that many times he feels like 'he is a fraud. That he really isn't a designer, he is not creative, he is artistic. He is just faking it all.' And I thought to myself "So am I."
I have been at this for 4 years now and it doesn't get any easier. Trying to find jobs, internships, just trying to make it out there. It really is hard. I sometime wonder if I should have chosen an easier field to get into. Been a receptionsit, or an administrative assistant. Or just a boring lab worker. I could have done it. I am actually very good at those type of things.
Answering the phone *sounding nice
Greeting people *looking cute
Filing papers *remembering the ABC's
Art is so much harder, design work is hard. That kind of stuff comes easy to me, but I really have to work at design, I have to think harder. So I feel like a fraud. But then again, when I get it right, when I get it REALLY right, I feel like I have actually done something worthwhile. So maybe I'm not faking it after all.
I have been at this for 4 years now and it doesn't get any easier. Trying to find jobs, internships, just trying to make it out there. It really is hard. I sometime wonder if I should have chosen an easier field to get into. Been a receptionsit, or an administrative assistant. Or just a boring lab worker. I could have done it. I am actually very good at those type of things.
Answering the phone *sounding nice
Greeting people *looking cute
Filing papers *remembering the ABC's
Art is so much harder, design work is hard. That kind of stuff comes easy to me, but I really have to work at design, I have to think harder. So I feel like a fraud. But then again, when I get it right, when I get it REALLY right, I feel like I have actually done something worthwhile. So maybe I'm not faking it after all.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Internship part 4
I waited all day and he didn't call.
No I'm not talking about my latest love triumph, I am talking about the guy I interviewed with a few days ago. He said he would call by Friday and alas...he didn't. I really felt good about this internship too...I spent the majority of the day being depressed thinking, I will be stuck at best buy until I am 40. Somehow though I got into my mind that maybe I should call him, so I did. He told me he was still interviewing people and I should give him till the 24th...so that gives me a little more hope, but not much. If he liked me enough he would have just stopped after the 4 right? But I am keeping hopeful.
In other news.
Since I didn't get a confirmation on the internship by the 13th I had to take on another class. Boo..or so I thought. Turns out that the other class is going to be awesome. One of my personal mantra's when it comes to Design is "with Design I can change the world" in fact its on my desktop.
Any who I have felt this way after reading a particular book. Which I find is amazing. The book is called The Design of Dissent: Socially and Politically Driven Graphics. This books is filled with some of the most amazing graphical work I have seen in a very long time. And it is all social and political which is awesome! If anyone loves me they will get me this book as a gift.
No I'm not talking about my latest love triumph, I am talking about the guy I interviewed with a few days ago. He said he would call by Friday and alas...he didn't. I really felt good about this internship too...I spent the majority of the day being depressed thinking, I will be stuck at best buy until I am 40. Somehow though I got into my mind that maybe I should call him, so I did. He told me he was still interviewing people and I should give him till the 24th...so that gives me a little more hope, but not much. If he liked me enough he would have just stopped after the 4 right? But I am keeping hopeful.
In other news.
Since I didn't get a confirmation on the internship by the 13th I had to take on another class. Boo..or so I thought. Turns out that the other class is going to be awesome. One of my personal mantra's when it comes to Design is "with Design I can change the world" in fact its on my desktop.
Any who I have felt this way after reading a particular book. Which I find is amazing. The book is called The Design of Dissent: Socially and Politically Driven Graphics. This books is filled with some of the most amazing graphical work I have seen in a very long time. And it is all social and political which is awesome! If anyone loves me they will get me this book as a gift.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Internship part 3
The my interview was yesterday. It seems to have gone well. The guy I interviewed with was very nice. I followed the advice of my professors and
1. Didn't wear a suit.
2. Took the water!
I was really worried that he would treat me like they did at portfolio preview, were they made me feel as if most of my work was infantile, and no where near good enough to get a job, much less pass portfolio class. Really I think this interview has done a lot to boost my dying ego which has been on a breathing machine for the last few months. I think I can go into my Senior Project class and do my best this quarter. Even though I have to take preview again!
1. Didn't wear a suit.
2. Took the water!
I was really worried that he would treat me like they did at portfolio preview, were they made me feel as if most of my work was infantile, and no where near good enough to get a job, much less pass portfolio class. Really I think this interview has done a lot to boost my dying ego which has been on a breathing machine for the last few months. I think I can go into my Senior Project class and do my best this quarter. Even though I have to take preview again!
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Internship part 2
So things are looking up for me. I have recently been talking to a person whom I highly admire, and they have made me realize that things could be worse and I can survive...since talking to this person things have looked up. Well I did lose my wallet...but everything else is good.
I have my first internship interview in two days! I am so excited. Well this isn't technically my first internship I did one previously with the City and well...I just hope that if I get this one I will be able to learn some real design skills, and not just be a fill in for the office designer (which they didn't have.) This is also a company that has done packaging design, which I have come to realize is something I really like to do, despite avoiding it for the majority of my college years. Really I think it may be something I really end up doing...that is unless I can find a magazine that will take me, that too would be awesome.
In other news this is my last week of freedom. I have to find something fun to do before classes start.
I have my first internship interview in two days! I am so excited. Well this isn't technically my first internship I did one previously with the City and well...I just hope that if I get this one I will be able to learn some real design skills, and not just be a fill in for the office designer (which they didn't have.) This is also a company that has done packaging design, which I have come to realize is something I really like to do, despite avoiding it for the majority of my college years. Really I think it may be something I really end up doing...that is unless I can find a magazine that will take me, that too would be awesome.
In other news this is my last week of freedom. I have to find something fun to do before classes start.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Portfolio: Catcher in the Rye/Blue Beat Studio
Photograph was taken by Pierre Amerlynck on sxc.hu
This was part of my portfolio, and part of the one I showed at preview. However some people didn't like it. They Disliked the image. So I have finally redone it over completely.
In other news I found a really great logo I did two years ago that I forgot to add to portfolio for preview. really would have liked to have added this.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Again with the failing.
I focused so much on one Preview and ended up failing everything. Doesn't that just beat all. Well I didn't exactly fail everything. I just didn't do so well. I made a D and a C in two senior classes. Especially the one for my personal identity system. I just could never come up with anything that worked for me.
I tried trying to figure out who I am first. And well the result is my current website, in other words the C project. I am so dissapointed in myself. I remember the last day of class feeling like I wanted to change the entire thing. But my professor said "If you change the whole thing now, you will fail." So no changes were made and I made a C+.
A week after the class is done I decide to start redoing the system, starting with the mark, after maybe 10 sketches I get something I like. And from then on everything looks awesome. I hate when this happens to me, everything looks like shit at some point and time and then....I see the blinding light and it all comes to me.
This sucks.
Look for my new website coming soon at designsbyshauna.com
I tried trying to figure out who I am first. And well the result is my current website, in other words the C project. I am so dissapointed in myself. I remember the last day of class feeling like I wanted to change the entire thing. But my professor said "If you change the whole thing now, you will fail." So no changes were made and I made a C+.
A week after the class is done I decide to start redoing the system, starting with the mark, after maybe 10 sketches I get something I like. And from then on everything looks awesome. I hate when this happens to me, everything looks like shit at some point and time and then....I see the blinding light and it all comes to me.
This sucks.
Look for my new website coming soon at designsbyshauna.com
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Opprotunities Missed
Searching for an internship today...well not all day, I spent some time at IKEA with my friend, however I got right to it when I got back to the house. Except for well now.
Anywhoo since the person who is supposed to be sending me a listing of local internships/jobs is not moving as fast as I would like for her to I have taken the matter into my own hands...I always like to say if you want something done right, do it yourself. Well I searched around to a few places, and finally stumbled upon the internship opprotunity of my dreams.
*Que lights and angelic music*
A magazine internship.
It was like a dream come true, because my real dream is to work for a magazine. However Atlanta is not really the place for magazines that is lovely ol' New York New York and personally that is a little too cold for me at the moment. Not to mention far since I have to finish my last quarter of school. I began to get all excited though at this posting, I even began to write the letter and email....and In the middle of writing the cover letter. I think "wait when was the deadline for the internship..." August 15... almost a month ago.
So much for my magazine dreams possibly being fulfilled.
Anywhoo since the person who is supposed to be sending me a listing of local internships/jobs is not moving as fast as I would like for her to I have taken the matter into my own hands...I always like to say if you want something done right, do it yourself. Well I searched around to a few places, and finally stumbled upon the internship opprotunity of my dreams.
*Que lights and angelic music*
A magazine internship.
It was like a dream come true, because my real dream is to work for a magazine. However Atlanta is not really the place for magazines that is lovely ol' New York New York and personally that is a little too cold for me at the moment. Not to mention far since I have to finish my last quarter of school. I began to get all excited though at this posting, I even began to write the letter and email....and In the middle of writing the cover letter. I think "wait when was the deadline for the internship..." August 15... almost a month ago.
So much for my magazine dreams possibly being fulfilled.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Internship
Only taking one class next quarter will make it so I have to pay money out of pocket, if I take two classes I don't. No it doesn't really make sense, but this does mean I need to find another class to take, fortunately my school offers an internship class. Therefore as of Tuesday this week I begin my adventure of trying to find an internship.
The Journey Begins
I have sent out my first resume and cover letter (which I hate writing) to my first potential employer. In all the classes I have taken that advise you about what to do when writing a cover letter they tell you to go to the website, research the company, so you know what they are looking for. With my school they provide all that information for you in the little summary they send you. However, what should one do when the website provides no information? just a spot for you to sign up for something...yeah helpful.
So in addition to cutting out a full paragraph, I send off the cover letter and resume and as soon I click send and it begins its electronic journey to the required box...and I realize I spelled the companies name wrong. I put viacom, and not viacube. I check the cover letter...and I did it there too. So I have to resend the information which I am sure she has already recived
...I don't they will be hiring me.
The Journey Begins
I have sent out my first resume and cover letter (which I hate writing) to my first potential employer. In all the classes I have taken that advise you about what to do when writing a cover letter they tell you to go to the website, research the company, so you know what they are looking for. With my school they provide all that information for you in the little summary they send you. However, what should one do when the website provides no information? just a spot for you to sign up for something...yeah helpful.
So in addition to cutting out a full paragraph, I send off the cover letter and resume and as soon I click send and it begins its electronic journey to the required box...and I realize I spelled the companies name wrong. I put viacom, and not viacube. I check the cover letter...and I did it there too. So I have to resend the information which I am sure she has already recived
...I don't they will be hiring me.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Post-preview cleanup
2 hours.
It took me two hours of sitting in my college's finicial aid office to finally see someone. Of course if I had just passed preview like normal I would not have had to been in that office for two hours waiting on someone to finish with another person only to find she had not been busy for 45 minutes. While in there I learn that for some reason the school systems is saying I have 7 more classes to take, because it decided to delete around 5 of my classes, and of course to get taht straightened out I have to run from floor to floor trying to find one person whom (is strangely my teacher of two classes) whom of course will always be either at lunch, unavailable, or in a "meeting". Which means I still am not going to have this whole thing settled until Thursday or Friday.
I want my hour and 15 minutes back.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The 8 ball was right
"...so when you take this next year..."
I have to say I was shocked. I really didn't hear anything else except for that line, and then it took me a few more moments to really comprehend what was happening. I failed. I spent a month and 1/2, $66 at kinkos, and I failed. This has to have been the biggest blow to my ego since...my 1st boy-friend refused to call me beautiful. I know I am not alone, but it really doesn't seems to make it any better. I have tutored so many other people in my school, so that they would pass (and mind you, they passed) and yet I didn't. The worse part of it all was having to go to class after and hear all the others gushing around me who did.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Preview
"So here it is, Portfolio Preview, the event that makes or breaks you. If I don't pass this I'm gonna scream."
This thought flew through my mind as I walked down Peachtree Street back to my overpriced, too small, 2-bedroom apartment, (with a great view mind you), that I share with my roommate. I clutched my portfolio book and focused on Chrisette Michele's 'Best of Me' which was blasting in my ears at the moment. This really is the best of me. But is it enough? Almost 4 years they have scared us to death with even the mention of this thing and here it is. In less than 4 hours I will be face to face with the old 'I know everything about design' monsters themselves, and they will determine if I have the ability to go to my final class and possibly graduate on time. Yeah that's right, possibly, because after this I have to do portfolio which is worse. I have almost killed myself in the past month and 1/2, working from dawn til dusk (or class/work), not eating properly, not working on my classwork, and turning to the bottle when I got overstressed. Everyone keeps telling me "Oh, you have nothing to worry about. Your work looks good." HA! tell that to the magic 8 ball.
This thought flew through my mind as I walked down Peachtree Street back to my overpriced, too small, 2-bedroom apartment, (with a great view mind you), that I share with my roommate. I clutched my portfolio book and focused on Chrisette Michele's 'Best of Me' which was blasting in my ears at the moment. This really is the best of me. But is it enough? Almost 4 years they have scared us to death with even the mention of this thing and here it is. In less than 4 hours I will be face to face with the old 'I know everything about design' monsters themselves, and they will determine if I have the ability to go to my final class and possibly graduate on time. Yeah that's right, possibly, because after this I have to do portfolio which is worse. I have almost killed myself in the past month and 1/2, working from dawn til dusk (or class/work), not eating properly, not working on my classwork, and turning to the bottle when I got overstressed. Everyone keeps telling me "Oh, you have nothing to worry about. Your work looks good." HA! tell that to the magic 8 ball.
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